Casey.

To the father of my son,
I could never hate you for anything that has happened.
We share a son,  he is our lives captain.
We have struggled so much to see what is right and what is wrong with being together.
We have learned that being apart is for the better.
I still love you,  for all that you are.
You are always in my prayers,  praying that in life,  you go far.
You gave me a life to which I never imagined I would have,
For that I am grateful,  you are still my other half.
I  imagined us growing old for so long,
But when the music stopped,  we forgot the song.
He is the best of you,  and the worst.
I will cherish him forever,  it's not a curse.
I know that we tried for this I will never regret
You are my greatest memory,  for which I will never regret.
I hate that you left in the way you did,
But I know it's a chapter of life that you had to close the lid.
I am not angry,  nor am I sorrowful,
We live our chapter,  and it was beautiful.
You promised forever,  and the moon,  and the stars.
You gave me my forever,  it ended so quickly,  but that's who we are.
I will always love you and want to protect you,
The life we had together is the only thing I knew.
We must grow old,  separate,  but not apart.
We share a son,  this is where our own lives must start.
I will love you forever,
Please don't hesitate to call in bad weather.
I don't call because the sound of your voice brings back happy memories,
It's the sound of a thousand oceans,  I don't want to  drown in the melodies.
You are perfect,  and one day someone will see that just like I did,
Hopefully you're ready next time,  and perfectly on your grid.
Our son is so beautiful,  he looks like you everyday.
You will have a beautiful relationship,  and love him more each day.
Each kiss I give him is for the both of us,
Because you are a part of me,  the only part that I trust.

Finish

You gave her life purpose,
Such truth and meaning.
Without you,  her days are no longer gleaming.
They are dark and sorrowful,
She loves,  but never how she loved you.
Instead of words,  silence takes the cue.
 She is one step closer to being happy,
But she will never be complete.

She will never finish....

Who am I

Who am I?
I am a girl who loves deep literature and
Deep conversation.
I am a girl who will forgive you and forget
Just to avoid confrontation.
I am a girl that rides the waves of the ocean on my back,  just to feel a little closer to heaven.
I am a girl whose favorite number happens to be twenty-seven.
I am a girl that gets over jealous,  even if we aren't together,
I am a girl who will stay strong,  just to make it through the weather.
I am a girl whose love runs so deep that it is never lost.
I am a girl that takes the fall for you,  pays every cost. I I am a girl whose heart belongs to many,  because it would be selfish of me to take it back.
I am a girl that hates to be alone,  because only then I realize what I lack.
I am a girl who struggles with her past,
I am a girl that will love you,  just because you asked.
I am a girl that was created to be the one for many,
I am the girl,  that once you realize you love me,  I will only be a memory.
I will listen to deep music,  just to open my heart to myself.
I will listen to your problems,  so you may feel relieved of yourself.
I will carry your problems,  and make you forget.
But in the end,  I will probably be your biggest regret.

Nightly thoughts

I was told as a child,  never to do anything behind closed doors that you would never do in public.
Fuck that.
What you do behind closed doors is who you are,  and that is something that only the invited should know.
Behind the eyes you can see the secrets that each of us posses.
And what they are should not be aired to the world.
They are genuine,  raw,  and completely naked.
If you take a shower in the bathroom,  with the door locked,  would you take a shower in front of the whole world?
No.
Only the invited should see that.
But who you are is beautiful,  crazy,  and down right perfect,  and I think that if you know who you are,  then you should be able to do whatever the hell you want behind closed doors.

Dear Angel

Dear Angel,
For I never met you,  but I dream of you often.
Your spirit stays with me,  everytime I feel you,  my heart softens.
I hate that I couldn't carry you for longer,
I often think,  " Maybe if I had been stronger."
But I wasn't and I'm learning that's okay,
And I know that I will meet you one day.
I was never ashamed of you,  that I promise.
You are perfect in every way,  absolutely flawless.
I know you watch over me and help me  through everyday,
If it wasn't for you,  I possibly  wouldn't have the appreciation I have for your brother,  anyway.
But you are worth so much more to me than that,
You hold my heart and that's a fact.
I was so young and so then my life begun,
I look forward to meeting you,  when we ride together into the sun.
Love,
Mommie...

I don't even know

Why can't you be ugly, and I be normal?
If life is a game,  why should conversation be so formal?
If you don't understand this then don't speak,
But I am not strong enough to turn the other cheek.
And about strong,  what makes us strong anyway?
Last I was told,  it was pushing through each day.
But I've learned differently in my experience,
It takes strength and wisdom to let go,  to find the clearance.